I Spent $880 on Seeking. Then I Switched.

The beginning: $109.99 seemed worth it

I signed up for Seeking in October 2025. I'm 44, divorced, run a commercial real estate firm in South Florida. I knew what I was looking for — someone younger, attractive, direct about expectations. I'd heard Seeking was where you go for that, so I signed up for Premium at $109.99/month without thinking twice.

First week was exciting. Hundreds of profiles. Beautiful women in Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Palm Beach. I started messaging. "Hey, I liked your profile" type stuff. Got a few responses. Most went nowhere. A lot of profiles seemed inactive — last online weeks ago. But I figured that was normal.

By week three I'd messaged maybe 40 women. Had real conversations with about 6. Met one for dinner. She was great. We saw each other a few times. Then she moved to Atlanta. Back to square one.

The first ban

Month three. I'm messaging a woman about arrangement expectations. She asked what I had in mind. I said something like "I'm thinking around $3K per month for someone I see weekly." Normal sugar conversation.

Twelve hours later my account was suspended.

No warning. No email explaining what happened. I just couldn't log in. When I finally got the suspension notice in my email, it said I violated the "terms of service" with no specifics. I emailed support. No response for a week. When they finally replied, it was a form letter. My account was reinstated after I watched a "safety video" and agreed to updated terms.

I'd lost all my ongoing conversations. The women I'd been talking to couldn't reach me, and I couldn't reach them. Two of them had probably moved on. $109.99/month for a platform that punishes you for using it the way it's designed.

Eight months of this

I kept paying because what else was there? I'd learned to avoid certain words — never say "allowance," never mention dollar amounts, never use "PPM" or "arrangement." On a sugar dating platform. The irony wasn't lost on me.

I moved financial conversations to text as fast as possible. Which meant giving my phone number to women I'd exchanged three messages with. Not ideal for privacy.

The bigger problem was profile quality. By month five I'd seen every active profile in South Florida. The same faces, week after week. New profiles popped up but half of them were clearly fake — professional-quality photos, one-line bios, instant messages asking me to move to WhatsApp. I reported them. Nothing happened.

Meanwhile I'm paying $109.99 every month. Eight months: $879.92. For maybe 4 real dates.

The second ban

Month seven. Banned again. This time I have no idea why. I hadn't even been particularly active that week. Just browsing. The email said "repeated terms violations." I hadn't violated anything since the first incident — I'd been walking on eggshells for months.

I emailed support. No response. I called — couldn't reach a human. I filed a BBB complaint. Got a form response. I tried a chargeback on the last month. My card company refunded it, but Seeking permanently blocked that card.

That was the breaking point. Not the money — I can afford $109/month. It was the disrespect. I'm a paying customer getting treated like a criminal for using the platform the way it was built to be used.

Finding the alternative

A friend in my golf group mentioned he'd switched to a newer platform. I was skeptical — I'd tried Secret Benefits briefly and found it thin. But he said this one was different because they actually verify income. I figured I'd try it since I had nothing to lose.

I signed up for Arranged on a Tuesday night. Took maybe 3 minutes. The first thing I noticed: it asked for my arrangement preferences upfront. Mentorship, travel companion, sugar relationship — right on my profile. On Seeking, putting that in your bio would get you flagged.

What was different

I'm not going to pretend it was magic. The user base is smaller — I'm in Miami, so I had maybe 30-40 profiles to browse versus hundreds on Seeking. But here's what made the difference:

Every profile felt real. Income verification is required, not optional. So the women browsing knew I was actually who I said I was. And I knew the other men on the platform were real competition, not fake profiles inflating the numbers.

I could actually say what I wanted. My first conversation on Arranged, I mentioned allowance expectations in the second message. No ban. No warning. No "safety video." Because that's what the platform is for.

The $49.99 price felt honest. Less than half what Seeking charges, and I wasn't constantly wondering when the next ban was coming. The mental overhead of censoring every message on Seeking was something I didn't realize was draining me until I didn't have to do it anymore.

The mobile experience actually worked. Seeking's mobile site feels like it was designed for a different decade. Arranged felt like a real app — smooth, fast, everything where you'd expect it.

Three months later

I've been on Arranged since April. I've had two arrangements that started from the platform. One didn't last — chemistry wasn't there after the second date. The other is ongoing and genuinely good. We see each other most weekends. Clear expectations, no games, no pretending it's something it isn't.

Could I have found the same thing on Seeking? Maybe. But I'd still be walking on eggshells, wondering when the next ban was coming, and paying twice as much for the privilege.

What I'd tell you

If you're on Seeking right now and it's working for you, stay. The user base is massive and if you're in a smaller city, it might be your only option with enough profiles to make it work.

But if you're frustrated — if you've been banned for saying "allowance," if you've reported fake profiles and nothing happened, if you're paying $110/month and wondering what you're getting for it — try something else. I spent 8 months and $880 being loyal to a platform that wasn't loyal back.

Arranged isn't perfect. The user base is still growing. But the profiles are real, the conversations are honest, and nobody's going to ban you for being direct about what you want. That's what I was looking for the whole time.

Frequently asked questions

Is this a real story?

Yes. The member shared his experience with our editorial team and asked us to publish it. Some identifying details have been changed for privacy, but the timeline, costs, and experiences are his.

How does Arranged compare to Seeking for someone in Miami?

Miami is one of Arranged's strongest markets. The user base is smaller than Seeking's but growing quickly. Required income verification means the profiles you see are real. For a full comparison, see our Seeking vs. Arranged breakdown.

Can I use both platforms at the same time?

Yes. Many members use Arranged as their primary platform and keep Seeking as a secondary. Just be careful about Seeking's word filters — the banned words list will help you avoid triggering their moderation.

What if Arranged doesn't have enough profiles in my city?

Arranged is growing fastest in major US metros (Miami, New York, LA, Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Atlanta, SF). In smaller cities, the user base may be thinner. You can browse for free before deciding whether to subscribe. Travel mode also lets you connect in other cities before you visit.